My Big Fat Turnabout Wedding
by Rahh Gumba Foo
Summary: Larry is getting married, but love is on the horizon for many of our favorite characters! It might just take a wild destination wedding for Nick and the gang to find out what true love is all about. Nick/Maya? Maybe. Many surprises & twists along the way!
1. For The Love Of Larry

So. I really haven't written on this site in FOREVER, and it's funny to see which pairings are trending right now. Is it so wrong that I just love the classic characters?

I write purely for my own enjoyment, and I hope that maybe you guys will find it amusing, as well. If you have any feedback, it would be greatly appreciated! Sit back, turn on your favorite feel-good music, and enjoy.

WRITTEN FROM PHOENIX'S POINT OF VIEW.

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><p>Ah, love.<p>

It is often referred to as mysterious, simple, beautiful, and painful... sometimes all within the same sentence. It brings people together, sometimes while simultaneously tearing others apart. It has been the basis for countless awful films and paperback novels. And, as a classic song goes, "All you need is love."

My experience with the subject hasn't been what one would consider ideal. If anything, it has been wildly unsuccessful.

For example, I regularly find my female co-workers batting their eyelashes at my best friend: a seemingly stoic, pretentious man who dresses in more pink than any of them do. (His favorite suit is _magenta_.)

I thought I had found love once. Turns out the girl was pretending to be someone else throughout the course of our entire relationship. An added bonus: she was trying to murder me. One can see why I'd be at least a little disenchanted with love after that whole debacle.

It's not that I don't believe in love at all. I just have a hard time understanding how people can find love so quickly, and be so happy with the person they have chosen in little to no time at all. I have tried to love someone based off of first impressions, and, as I mentioned earlier, it ended almost fatally.

That is why I had to call my friend Larry Butz that afternoon to give him a piece of my mind regarding something of his that I had received in the mail:

_You have been cordially invited_

_to the wedding of Larry & Niki_

_July Twelfth_

_Chios, Greece_

Larry Butz cordially dumbfounded me.

Apparently, he took a trip to Europe to find himself. While doing so, he ended up finding the love of his life. Enter Greek supermodel Niki, who apparently loves the arts and long walks on the beach. He was enamored with her, and vice versa, and for some reason, they had to plan the wedding as soon as possible.

I couldn't help but feel cynical about it all. How could I _not_? This wasn't the first time Larry had tried and failed at love with foreign models. I thought that I would be able to plead my case with him over the phone.

"And you're telling me," I started rhetorically into the receiver, "That you love this girl after being with her for three months?"

Larry Butz does not know how to argue a case, even for someone without a lawyer's badge. To each question I ask, he simply answers, _"Uh, yeah, that's what I'm telling you. Nick, why don't you believe me!"_

"This is ridiculous, that's why. Larry..."

I had to pause for a moment, to reflect on the situation.

Marriage. It was the single most important milestone in Larry's life, and I had never even met the girl. I'd never even heard her name until I read it out loud from the wedding invitation.

I tried to be rational, but couldn't find anything to say. So I sputtered, "You're making us fly all the way out to _GREECE_ for an on-the-spot wedding!"

Not hurt in the least by my rudeness, Larry pleaded, _"Niki's parents are paying for the flight expenses! All you have to do is show up... and be my best man. I think you can do that much! Everybody else has said yes!"_

"I don't know," I muttered.

_"Niiiick,"_ Larry wailed, _"Why do you suddenly hate meee? You know I'd do the same for you, bro!"_

That was true. But I would never spring an exotic wedding on my best friend three weeks before the date.

"You swear all I have to do is show up and be there for you?" I asked again.

_"Swear."_

...

And that is how Maya and I ended up on the next flight available to a tiny island off of the Grecian shore.

Larry had booked us the tickets. It was a tiny plane, not meant for more than ten passengers. Clearly, our destination was remote.

Maya was fumbling with the book in her hands (_The Steel Samurai vs. the Jammin' Ninja, Volume 43_), flipping pages even though I knew she hadn't read a single word. She was too busy staring out the window, ogling at other passengers, and bothering me.

... Although, as much as I pretend like it bothers me when Maya pesters me, asking me deep questions about life and teasing me, it really doesn't. In fact, her antics have, as of late, only left me in the best of moods. I could never let her catch on to that fact, though... she might let it get to her head.

"So, Nick, what's a wedding like?" she asked, pretending to read a page.

"Well, this isn't going to be your average wedding, so don't get too excited," I replied flatly. "It'll probably end in a bar fight between the bride and groom."

"Oh, Nick!" Maya scolded, "You know, this is Larry Butz we're talking about..."

"Exactly. Expect a bar fight."

"I meant that he's your best friend. You should support him, you know what I mean?"

"... When something smells," I sighed, not bothering to finish the overused phrase.

Maya faced forward again, folding her arms across her chest, "I think it's great that he found someone that could make him so happy. I think he knows what he's doing."

"I think he's going to come crying to me during the bachelor party, telling me he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into," I retorted. "There's no way this wedding is going to happen."

"Don't be so pessimistic, Nick," Maya insisted, "It will be an adventure, no matter what!"

"That's for sure."

The pilot's voice broadcast throughout the plane, telling us something about preparing for landing.

Maya couldn't sit silently for a moment. She laughed, "Like, maybe you'll find the love of your life while you're here! Wouldn't that be insane?"

"Yeah, I highly doubt that," I replied, cracking a smile for the first time the entire conversation. "The chances of that happening are slim to none. About as likely as this wedding going smoothly."

"Why wouldn't it, though? You're young! You've got a great career! And you're not dog-ugly, either..."

_Um, thanks..._? I didn't know whether to be offended or complimented at that last remark.

"Besides," Maya continued, "I think having a girl around would do you good. Maybe you wouldn't be so uptight all the time!"

"Hey, I'm only uptight because you force me to be the adult around here... Anyway, I'm not looking to get married."

"You're not?"

"Not just yet."

"Why not?"

"I have everything I need right here!" I grinned, gesturing toward Maya.

She was, after all, one of my best friends. Since the day we met, I've been drawn to her quirky personality and the fact that deep down, she is incredibly strong-willed. Since those days, she's grown up a little, but even so, she never fails to bring spunk to any situation.

"Don't be silly, Nick, you're making me blush!"

"I mean, I've got friends. You're my right hand man. And, I don't know if anyone has ever told you this before but... well, it's important to have solid friendships before you go around trying to find 'love'. Whatever that is, anyway."

"You'll find it eventually."

"Yeah. And you will too. Everything will happen for us in due time. So, until we do find it, let's just have a good time this weekend... and come out of it together, in one piece. Sound like a plan?"

"You bet!"

The plane stopped moving conveniently as our conversation came to a close. I looked out the window and noticed that we were not near any sort of airport. We were in the middle of a beach, just past the ocean.

I could see a crowd of people off in the distance. They were waving at us frantically, jumping up and down and migrating towards us. I already felt my heart rate going up due to the oncoming stress.

Maya and I exited the plane, as the mob headed even closer to us. Who else was leading the pack but the man of honor himself, Mr. Larry Butz.

His orange hair was artfully spiked just as it always was, and his goatee was neatly shaven. He was in a loosely fitting linen shirt, white pants (that were just a couple inches too short for his long legs, but that was nothing new), and boat shoes, as if he had just stepped off of his yacht to come greet us.

"Wow," Maya whispered to me as the crowd grew nearer. One person in particular stuck out from the rest of them: the bride-to-be.

Her loosely fitting knee length dress fluttered in the breeze in a way that made it seem like it was about to fly off of her tall, slender body. It did not. It did, however, make for a very suspenseful show as she ran towards us. It was all I could do not to cover my eyes, anticipating a wardrobe malfunction.

She was beautiful, though, with sun-kissed skin, seductive brown eyes, and dark, wavy hair that any man would want to run his fingers through. It wasn't too hard to imagine Larry falling in love with her instantly.

"Welcome to Greece!"

"You're finally here!"

"Can we take your bags?"

"Mr. Phoenix Wright! We've heard nothing but..."

"_NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!_"

I recognized that wail. Larry practically tackled me, disobeying every rule for male hugging as he embraced me like a long lost lover, blubbering my name.

"Nick! Nick, you're here! You're finally here! There's so much we have to discuss! So much to do!" He pulled away for a moment, eyeing me. "You look great!"

"Thanks," I smiled quietly, "As do you. For an islander, at least. You're becoming one of them."

"I know, isn't it great?" he beamed back at me, straightening the collar of his tourist-y shirt. "All right, so... I'd say it's about time you meet the family!"

All twenty or so people waved at me, smiling and talking and closing in on Maya and me as if we were prey.

"Nick and Maya, meet... George, Spiro, John, the other George, Pappou, Niko, Steve, Dean, _Theo_ George, uhh, let's see... Thea Mary, umm... Alexandra, Tina, cousin Maria... oh, God, I'm horrible with all these names!"

"It's fine, love," the woman on Larry's arm interrupted, breaking away from him. She looked at me as she held out her hand, "Hi. I'm Niki!"

I feigned excitement, going in for a hug instead of a handshake. "Phoenix Wright. It's truly a pleasure to meet you. I've heard nothing but wonderful things!"

"Aw, really? That's too sweet! Larry has said such great things about you, too. Now, pardon me, but who is that pretty young woman you arrived with?"

Niki motioned to Maya, who seemed to be lost in the sea of new people. She was socializing with a few of the younger looking girls already.

"Ah, that's Maya," I clarified. "She's my assistant."

"Oh, I see," Niki replied in a half-flirtatious manner. "She must be a pretty important assistant if she followed you all the way to Greece!"

"Yeah," I explained, "She's a good friend."

"Well, it looks like the bridesmaids have already taken a liking to her. Perfect!"

"Mr. Phoenix Wright!" One of the girls crowding around Maya called for my attention. She had a bit of an accent. "Is it all right if we steal your girl away from you for a few hours? She didn't bring any suitable clothing for the weather, so can we take her out for some shopping...?"

I wonder what they would have said if I explained that Maya wore that channeling robe every day, regardless of the weather. When in Athens...

I shrugged and replied, "Sure, just keep in touch, Maya."

"Oh, I will, Nick!" she chirped, grinning happily. I don't know if she's ever even been shopping before...

There was no time to think about that, though. I was being bombarded by the men of the family before I could make a getaway.

"So, son, have you ever been to Greece before?" an older man asked, shaking my hand. He had also fallen into the trap of white linen pants, although his look seemed a little more authentic than Larry's. "I'm Theo George, by the way. Uncle of the bride."

I forgot his name before he finished saying it; "Ah, nice to meet you. No, I've never been."

"Would you like a tour of the place? It's pretty small, and I know a lot about the area..."

Larry cut in, saving me from a potentially unpleasant field tour. "Sorry, Theo, I gotta talk to Nick for a second. We have important _man_ business to discuss!"

"Really?" I asked, not aware.

"Yes, really!" Larry grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the crowd.

"Hey, what about our luggage?"

"Don't worry, they've got it," Larry explained quickly.

I turned around to see if 'they' really 'had got' it, and I saw two little boys unzipping my new suitcase, which was now lying in the sand, and swinging around my array of red ties. "Larry, there are a bunch of kids going through my stuff!"

Without flinching, Larry said, "I have something important for you to know. Something that could change your whole outlook on this wedding..."

He was walking along a narrow path covered in sand that wound around the side of the mansion. I followed next to him begrudgingly, trying not to get sand in my shoes.

He continued, "See, there's _someone_ here that will probably make you want to stay... if you know what I mean."

"What kind of someone? A female someone?" I questioned.

"What other kind of someone would there be? You know me, Nick!"

That was all too true.

We headed down the walkway, which finally opened up to the mansion's beautiful backyard... which happened to be a private beach. The ocean pushed at the shore calmly, and the sky was nothing short of blemish-free. The view was, as much as I hated to admit it, well worth the price of my sandy suitcase.

"I guess this is nice," I muttered, like a stubborn four year old.

"So," Larry began what I could tell was a planned speech, "I invited a lot of people that I met through _you_ to this wedding... I figured this whole event is as much about you guys as it is about me. Since you flew all the way out and... everything. So... I wanted you to have a good time... So please DON'T GET MAD AT ME!"

"...Why would I get mad at you...?" I was suddenly terrified to find out the answer.

"I invited a few... how can I say this...? _Lady friends_ for you."

"What the...!"

"What happens in Greece stays in Greece, my man. Start to pourin' the alcohol and you'd be surprised who starts looking like your dream woman," Larry threw an arm around my shoulder, which I shrugged off hastily.

"That actually just made me want to throw up a little," I announced.

"... But, really, if there was ever a time to remove the metaphorical stick out of your ass, it would be now. She's the perfect girl for the job!"

Leave it to Larry Butz to turn what was an already disastrous situation into a reality show filled with whores and drunken one night stands, not to mention the fact that his judgement on suitable females is terrible, even when he's picking for himself. Larry had the dirtiest look splayed across his face, and I just knew he was imagining some sort of... act of intimacy.

"I know what you're thinking, Larry," I revealed.

"... Oh. It was that obvious?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

I sputtered, finally losing my mask of 'coolness', "That's another reason why I can't play along with whatever scheme you're concocting! I'm not... e-exactly well-versed in the realm of..."

Refusing to hear my plea, he ordered, "Look at her. Now!"

I scanned the beach, and sure enough, there was a womanly figure sprawled out on a striped beach towel by the water. She had long, black hair, but other than that, I couldn't make out any other features. Her face was shadowed by a billowing hat. (Why do women wear those hideous things, anyway?)

"... Larry, I don't live the lifestyle that you do. I'm not going to do that to a woman," I argued. He continued walking down the beach, not hearing any of it. I followed him, yelling, "Listen, if I end up embarrassing myself in front of whoever you've dug up from my past, I swear..."

"Nick!" Larry exclaimed, practically pleading with me. "I would like to introduce you to someone. I know you like her already. And please be quiet because she's _right over there_!"

It was then that I noticed that Larry himself was speaking quite loudly. He had been the entire time, and I hadn't noticed. We were within earshot of the young woman on the beach towel, but she didn't seem to notice that we were even around.

"You remember Iris, don't you?" Larry smiled. "Turns out she's a second cousin of Niki's. I found that out and couldn't resist getting her out here for you! Did I do good, Nick?"

"I-Iris!" I choked. "You got _Iris_?"

Beautiful, sweet Iris... the girl that got away. Technically, the girl whose sister tried to kill me, but she meant a lot more to me than that. Or so I told myself, as I watched her from afar on the beach. I looked over at the girl again, at her black hair, which was red when I had known her. I reacquainted myself with her body, her long legs...

Somehow, Larry's terrible idea didn't turn out to sound _so_ terrible. Surprised with the work Larry had done, I actually didn't _hate_ the situation, after all. Rather, I was just starting to feel a little apprehensive about how I should approach it...

"It's really her," I concluded. "Larry... I still hate you."

Reading my mind, Larry winked, "I'll let you two get reacquainted."

And that is the beginning of my story. The very twisted (and misleading) beginning of the story of how I learned about dignity, respect, friendship, and (last, but certainly not least)... love.

As Larry began walking toward the front of the mansion, I took a deep breath and mentally prepared an opening statement.


	2. It's A Man's, Man's, Man's World

I don't think this little fanfic can be fully enjoyed unless one listens to disco and funk hits as they read. While writing it, I won't listen to anything but songs featured on Soul Train.

Kind of a transitional chapter... but chapter 3 should be VERY interesting!

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><p>When I told Larry that I was not exactly well-versed in the realm of intimacy, I was absolutely not joking. Unlike Larry Butz, who has dated at least one model in any given catalogue, I don't simply share my bed with every girl I meet. Although, now, with the situation at hand, I was wishing that I had a little more practice.<p>

Iris was the first girl I had ever... consummated a relationship with. (There really isn't a subtle way to word that, is there?) That may explain why, when Larry mentioned her name, I was suddenly interested.

They say you never truly forget your first love. Even for a skeptic like me, that's pretty believable. Graphic details aside, when we were together, I really did think she was the most beautiful, perfect girl a guy could get. I mean, my ardent love for her was enough to get me to wear a pink sweater... with a heart knit into it. Every day.

Obviously, since then, she has not been the _only_ girl I've ever been with, but they have been few and far between. Of course, right after Iris (also known as Dahlia, it's a long story) and I broke up (i.e. after Dahlia went to jail... like I said, a long story), I tried to fill the void she left in my life with other girls.

I learned from that mistake. What I learned is this: I am not the kind of guy that can simply 'hook up' with girls. I get nervous, I want to talk afterwards... or I just want to leave. (As it turns out, girls kind of hate when you do that.)

My point here is that the idea of getting together with Iris out of nowhere, knowing that it would go absolutely nowhere, was completely out of my comfort zone.

I managed to convince myself that she probably wasn't interested, anyway. In a somewhat creepy manner, I stood behind Iris, hoping to make a clever entrance... or something.

"Ahem," I chortled, rather unsuavely, in Iris's general direction.

She didn't look up. I cleared my throat again, and called out, "Iris!"

"AHHHH!"

Iris screamed, jumping up from her beach chair awkwardly, her sunglasses flying off her face. I ran closer to her, hoping to help her up. Flustered, she rushed to bend down and pick her sunglasses up, and when she stood back up, she ran her hands through her hair nervously.

A good start to this little romance, that was for sure.

"I'm sorry!" I squawked, "I didn't mean to startle you! It's just that, you know, I wasn't sure if you were actually who I thought you were, so I didn't want to be mistaken... um... Do you recognize me?"

Sifting sand through her billowing sun hat, she finally looked up at me. She paused, revealing a pair of enormous hazel eyes.

"...Phoenix Wright?" She cocked her head to the side, trying to subtly notice any differences in my face.

"I-I'm glad I'm still recognizable!"

She suddenly smiled, getting a good look at me, "How could I forget you... Feeny? You haven't changed a bit..."

Before I could stop myself, I gave her a good once-over. She hadn't changed either. If anything, she had matured into a beautiful young woman, rather than a pretty girl. I couldn't help but focus on her collarbone, and what was directly underneath it...

"Phoenix?" she asked, snapping me out of my daze.

"Ah! I'm sorry! You just look... y-you know, Iris, it's just been so long!" My heart was pounding.

"Phoenix!"

"Y-Yes?"

"Enough," she laughed, her cheeks turning bright pink.

Quick to apologize, I started, "So, I don't know if you heard Larry and I talking earlier, but I just wanted to apologize for that. I just didn't want to make a bad first new-impression and, uh, I didn't really mean-"

"Larry was around?"

"Never mind. Forget I said anything."

Awkward silence.

"It's so good to see you," she broke the silence with a smile. "You'll have to excuse me, though, all of a sudden I'm feeling a little self-conscious. Maybe it was the fact that I fell off a beach chair..."

"Why should you feel self conscious? I fall off things all the time!" I scratched the back of my head, wishing I had just kept my mouth shut.

"It's just very strange to see you again, like this, in this setting... after everything." She gazed at me with the most genuine look of earnesty, "It turns out you do still make me nervous, after all. I was afraid of that..."

Her honesty was endearing. It was as if she still had as much trust in me as she did when we were dating. For a moment, I thought that, maybe, hooking up with her would not be as much of a failure as my recent attempts have been.

She was so damned beautiful, I would have been a fool if I didn't kiss her there and then.

... Of course, I was a fool. I replied, "I know, trust me. I was nervous to say hello to you!"

"You don't even know who I am... _really _know who I am, anyway."

That was true. During the course of our relationship, she essentially played the role of her sister, Dahlia, who turned out to be a conniving criminal. I never got the chance to fall in love with the _real_ Iris, even though we spent months attached at the hip.

If we were going to make this wedding-fling happen, though, we would have to look past that.

"What's wrong with getting to know you _now_?" I flashed a charming smile involuntarily, and she grinned back. Realizing what I had said and done, I concluded that Larry Butz must have programmed a chip in my brain to control my actions. The only devilishly charming smiles I flash are in practice, in front of a mirror.

Still, she did seem interested, which was a good sign.

Pushing the hair out of her eyes, she replied slyly, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with that."

We exchanged bashful smiles- the kind that new lovers exchange after realizing that they're both after the same thing. Specifically, when they realize that a week in Greece would be the perfect opportunity to finish off their past relationship with a bang.

(Really? With a "bang"? Was Larry controlling my narrative now, too?)

"So," Iris's voice was like honey now, "Will I see you during the party tonight?"

"Of course."

She refused to break eye contact with me. I couldn't have taken my eyes off her even if she had averted her gaze.

"I, uh, I'm really looking forward to seeing more of you this weekend," I stuttered, despite my attempt to give off an air of general apathy.

"Phoenix Wright," Iris stated my name slowly, as if she were re-acquainting herself with the way it rolled off the tongue... she tipped her head to the side as she smiled at me shyly. "It's just so surprising to see you here..."

"Y-Yeah, I know..."

I was interrupted by the sound of Larry's voice carrying across the beach.

"NIIIIIIICK! Look who it is! Hey, Nick! Over here! _Look over here!_"

I turned around to see what he was yelling about so adamantly. There stood Miles Edgeworth... who was not dressed for the weather, wearing his usual three piece suit and cravat. He glanced back at me, stoically, and continued to roll his suitcase through the sand toward the door of the mansion. And next to him was Dick Gumshoe, who traded in his normal ratty work shirt in for a short sleeve version. He seemed to be carrying the rest of Edgeworth's bags.

I turned back to Iris, who seemed embarrassed that she had been spotted in some sort of compromising transaction happening between us. She smiled timidly and said, "Your friends are waiting for you."

Trying to come up with a few clever parting words, I muttered, "I, uh..."

"Nick! Get over here so we can discuss manly things of importance!" Larry demanded loudly.

"I will see you tonight, then," Iris said cordially. The less-intimate nature of her smile indicated that it was time for me to walk away and pretend that nothing had happened.

Apparently, that is how hooking up works.

Confused, I headed in Larry's direction. When I meandered over to where he was, Larry handed me a beer with a wink.

"So," he laughed, "How's Iris?"

"One step at a time: what kind of beer is this?" I asked him, holding up the bottle for him to see the foreign label. When he ignored my question and didn't break eye contact, I knew that was not the answer he was looking for.

I broke; "Okay, so she seems interested."

Larry threw his fist into the air. "YES! I knew I did well!"

"Have you been drinking all day?" I asked. I found it a little unsettling that he already smelled of beer.

Before Larry could answer, a voice I had been waiting to hear stepped up behind me; "Who seems interested?"

I turned around, getting a good look at one of my best friends; he seemed to be having a wardrobe issue, as the ocean breeze made his cravat fly into his face. It was Miles Edgeworth.

"Edgeworth!" I exclaimed.

"Hello, Wright," he replied, trying to figure out if a man-hug would be appropriate at that moment. After a few seconds of awkward fidgeting around me, he simply sighed in resignation. "It's good to see you."

Larry cut in, breaking the tension with a sloppy grin, "So, Nick and I were just discussing the merits of a potential hook-up with the one and only Iris."

"Both of you?" Edgeworth asked crossly.

"No, of course not," Larry grimaced, "Nick's the only one doing any hooking up. Did you forget I'm getting _married_, Edgeyyy?"

Edgeworth crossed his arms and thought about the idea solemnly. "Well, Wright, you know what they say: _What happens in Greece, stays in Greece_."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I asked, taking a swig of the unknown alcoholic substance in my hand. "A-Am I the only one who objects to blatant disrespectful behavior towards women?"

"You're the only one who objects to _anything_ outside of the courtroom. You should add a few new words to your vocabulary," Edgeworth almost smirked as he delivered this clever line.

"Aw, Nick," Larry hugged my shoulders and fussed with my hair as if I were his child, "It's all part of growing up! Women!"

A few feet behind me, I heard another familiar voice: "WOMEN, pal!"

An out-of-breath Dick Gumshoe raced up to us. He didn't seem to be running from anything in particularly, but he was definitely worked up over something.

He gasped, "Mr. Wright! I'm so glad you're here! I told Mr. Edgeworth while we were on the plane, 'I'm going to need the skills of Mr. Wright and Mr. Edgeworth to uncover this mystery'. And here you are, pal."

"The final piece of the puzzle," Larry commented blankly, shoving a beer into Gumshoe's hands. He was going to need it.

"What's the mystery, exactly?" I inquired.

"It's Maggey. Maggey Byrde," he sighed, gulping down his drink.

"Oh, you mean the super-hot-police-girl I invited to the wedding so that you guys can have your pick of the ladies in Greece?" Larry clarified, as if trying to re-assure himself that it was the right thing to do.

I cut in, "What is it about Maggey, Gumshoe?"

"I don't know, pal... I kind of... Well, I think I... like her...?"

Gumshoe couldn't finish his sentence without blushing. I couldn't help but smile at this.

"Well... Why don't you just talk to her about it?" I asked.

"Because! When was the last time you saw me interact with a girl, pal? It just... doesn't... I mean, they never take me seriously," Gumshoe frowned, his shoulders slumping pathetically.

Gumshoe spoke the truth. In the time that I had met him, I had never heard of Gumshoe even taking a girl out for dinner. He was older than Edgeworth, Larry, _and_ me, and yet, he had the flirtation skills of a prepubescent boy.

"Hey, Gumshoe!" Larry shouted. "The world is full of women for you to explore!"

I muttered, "Explore? Again with the disrespect..."

"I'm gonna be honest, pal," Gumshoe admitted, "I wouldn't even know the first thing to say if I ever got up the courage to talk to Maggey outside of our... uh, professional relationship."

Grinning, Larry reassured him, "And that's where I come in! They don't call me the 'match-maker' for nothing, you know. A little sweet talk and you'll have her in no time..."

Edgeworth skeptically asked, "How do you plan on achieving that?"

Larry replied, examining Gumshoe's overall appearance, "First, we'll put you in some dashing outfit tonight. Something different from your work clothes, that will scream '_here I come, ladies_'! Then, we will turn you into the life of the party... that will show her that you have a fun side. After that, this 'Maggey' won't be able to take her eyes off of you!"

Edgeworth caught my eye for a moment, and we both laughed at how ridiculous our elementary school best friend was. While Larry looked the other way, I mouthed, _He's drunk. _With the tiniest smirk, Edgeworth nodded at the information I had just pointed out to him.

"I saw that!" Larry pouted. "And let me tell you, _Edgey and Nick_, I'm being serious! And you guys are going to help me!"

"I want nothing to do with this," Edgeworth stated. He meant business.

Larry rephrased his first suggestion; "O-Okay... so, Nick, you'll help me, right? We gotta get Gumshoe in with the girl!"

Larry begged me with his puppy dog eyes, holding his fists up to his heart.

"O-Of course," I said, gulping down half of my drink in symbolic preparation for the rest of the week. "It'll give me something to do other than 'hook up' with 'ladies'."

"Lighten up, Nick!" Larry coaxed. "You might as well enjoy yourself now! A wedding like this only happens once in a lifetime!"

"Hopefully," I added pessimistically. When something smells... it usually ends in a divorce.

"Niiiiick!"

Edgeworth chimed in, as if just to spite me, "Wright, be nice. The ceremony should be beautiful. Don't you agree, Detective Gumshoe?"

Without missing a beat, Gumshoe answered, "Sure do, pal! I already feel like a king! The last time I ate appetizers like that, I was stealing scraps of food off of the tables at my job as a bus boy..."

Edgeworth gave Gumshoe a certain look, indicating that it was time to stop talking. Gumshoe obeyed his master.

"Your opinion will change after tonight, Nick, trust me," Larry tried to convince me, waving his finger clumsily. "Tonight's the party for all the out-of-town wedding guests. And would you like to know what all the ladies invited to this wedding are doing _right now_?"

I gave my friend a blank stare, giving no indication that I wanted him to drunkenly explain what the 'ladies' were doing.

"Well, I'll tell you," Larry continued anyway. As if letting his three friends in on a deep secret, Larry tipsily gathered Gumshoe, Edgeworth, and I into a small circle. He said quietly, "They're all getting ready for tonight. They're perfecting their makeup, practicing their dance moves in mirrors, putting on their best clothes. All for _us_."

Gumshoe stared at Larry in wonder. "That's probably true, pal! You really know what you're talking about!"

Larry gave a smug grin, "Trust me, Detective, I know it is. This is a _man's_ world. Women do all of those things so that _we_ will _notice_ them. You think ladies want to just sit on the sidelines all night, chatting with their friends? No! They want dashing men to take them to the dance floor... and that's where we come in. You, me, Nick, Edgey..."

"Okay, Larry," Edgeworth finally had to comment, "I'm not sure if you forgot, but just as a reminder: you're getting married. You won't be sweeping any random women off of their feet."

Larry gave Edgeworth the final beer out of the six-pack, replying, "Relax, Edgey. I know that. But that doesn't mean I can't play wingman!"

Edgeworth grunted, defeated. He sniffed the foreign substance inside his bottle. It was clear he had never had a beer before.

"What I was saying, before I was interrupted," Larry said cooly, "was that I'll provide the party, so don't worry about that. All you guys have to do is show up and work your magic, and the ladies will be all over you."

"Really, pal? Well, now I'm kind of excited," Gumshoe looked off in the distance, presumably imagining himself dancing with Maggey.

Larry added, "I have a few shirts that might fit you, Detective, that are tried-and-true lady magnets."

I interjected, "Can you stop calling women 'ladies'?"

"Nope!" Larry replied bluntly. "Edgey, how's that beer coming along? I got the expensive kind because I knew you wouldn't drink anything less than the best! Aren't I the best friend _ever_?"

Edgeworth gave a strained nod of approval. I always saw him as more of a wine guy, myself, so it was a little sad to watch him nurse the beer like a tentative high schooler at his first party.

Larry held up his beer, motioning for Gumshoe and I to do the same. We reluctantly raised our bottles.

"To fantastic friendship and lovely ladies!" Larry toasted. Already feeling the effects of alcohol, he added loudly, "Who's ready to get obliterated tonight?"

_To inebriation and exploitation.  
><em>

Four grown men acting like sixteen year-olds. _Wait until Maya hears about this..._

Larry had corrupted us. The events I was planning for that night suddenly took a turn for the less-than-admirable. The necks of our bottles clinked, and we drank down the last drops of our beers.


	3. I Find Romance When I Start To Dance

WHOA! This chapter is long. Didn't realize that when I was writing it. Maybe that's why it took so long for me to publish it here. I keep going back through the chapter over and over again, changing things. You know when you have a specific chapter that you're really excited about when you first plan out a story, and when you go to write it, it actually turns out to be this terrible, daunting task?

Sorry it's so long, I hope you guys enjoy this update!

* * *

><p>After watching Larry stumble through the sand and being a victim of his trying to pull Edgeworth, Gumshoe, and I into the water, I figured it was time to go inside. I had to see where I would be staying for the remainder of my time in Greece, after all.<p>

To say Niki's house was enormous would be a gross understatement. The mansion, sized similarly to a small hotel, boasted bedroom upon bedroom, each with unique decoration and plenty of space.

The hallway where the bedrooms were was a trek in itself. My rolling suitcase whirring behind me, I got a good look at some of the wedding guests whose doors were open. All of Niki's family spoke Greek, and they were laughing, chatting, and getting ready for the evening.

I arrived at "The Seaside Room", the last room on the left side of the hallway... the room that I had been assigned to when I RSVP'd for the wedding. The room's name was stated elaborately on a wooden sign on the door. I noticed the name, but didn't think much of it.

I opened the door and took in the atmosphere of the room. There was a colossal window, with a beautiful view of the ocean. It was modestly decorated, with only one Greek vase atop the wooden dresser (as opposed to the entire room being some sort of tacky homage to Greece, as I had imagined all Greek homes to be), and a still life painting. The queen-sized bed was overflowing with a lush-looking down comforter and starkly clean white sheets.

I walked in, left my rolling suitcase off to the side, and flopped face-down onto the bed. With a heavy sigh, I sank into the mattress.

...And then, suddenly, something relatively heavy fell on top of me. Something like a human body.

"Get off of me!" I called out, my face being smushed into the comforter.

"Sorry!" That was Maya's voice. "Welcome to our room!"

I turned onto my side, rolling her off of me. She flopped down onto the bed, and I caught a deep breath.

"This is not _our_ room," I noted, "It can't be."

"Why do you say that, Nick?" Maya turned her head towards me.

"Because... there's only one bed in here."

"Yeah, I noticed that too. I hope you're not a bed hog!"

We both stared at the ceiling.

"We can't sleep in the same bed," I stated plainly.

"Why not!"

"B-Because..."

_Because we can't fit you, me, _and _Iris in this bed..._

Mercifully not giving me enough time to answer, Maya just laughed, "You're so needy. This bed will be just fine!"

I turned around to face Maya just as she turned onto her side, her hair falling prettily over her shoulder.

Something looked different about her.

Something that made her, in some back corner of my brain, extremely attractive. I quickly tried to shove these thoughts aside.

I went through the mental checklist: her hair was the same, she wasn't wearing a ridiculous amount of makeup...

It was the shoulder. The hair falling prettily over the shoulder.

Realizing that I had never seen her bare shoulder before, I finally noticed what Maya was wearing: a new dress. Purple, of course, the flowing fabric draped over her legs in the style of an ancient Greek statue.

"Oh, I forgot to ask," Maya clearly noticed that I had been eyeing her outfit. "How do you like my new dress?"

I was taken aback for a moment. The rich fabric cascaded over the white comforter, and for a second, Maya looked...

"You look nice," was all I could say.

"Thanks, Nick," she grinned. "Those girls helped me pick out the prettiest dresses! I have more for the rest of the week. I've never worn real clothes before!"

"Yeah, I've noticed," I responded, absentmindedly noticing how good she looked in them.

"Isn't it beautiful here?" Maya looked out the window, at the coming sunset.

"It really is."

"We should move the Wright & Co. Law Offices here! With a window view of the ocean, just like this room!"

...

Maya and I finally left the room to attend the party, once we had discussed my outfit at length.

"Is this okay?" I turned to show it to Maya, who seemed to think she had a discerning eye for fashion now that she had gone shopping once.

She cocked her head to the side, and laughed, "Well, you look absolutely unoriginal."

She was right; the shirt was essentially a short-sleeved version of what I normally wore, and my suit pants were traded in for some khaki blue shorts. I thought it looked decent, though...

Sensing my dejection, Maya added, "I meant that you look very dashing, yet weather-appropriate."

I nodded, sighing in relief with exaggeration. "Thanks, I was really worried about not getting your approval."

"Nick!"

"No, really," I flashed a smile. "So, about tonight..."

I had planned to tell her about Iris, and about how I would probably get a little intoxicated that night, but before I could do that...

"Yeah, I was going to say, about tonight. Make sure you look out for me, okay? I don't think I've ever been to a party like this one promises to be."

"W-Well, don't go crazy," I warned, "I plan on having a good time, as well... Actually, there was something I've been meaning to talk about..."

"Can we talk about it later? I'm so ready to go!"

Before I could respond, Maya had grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bedroom, closing the door behind us and flying down the long hallway.

...

Down the beach a ways was the family Party Pavilion. It was atop a sort of hill that could be accessed by a beautiful stone stairway. Fenced in by strings of dangling lights, it looked like nothing short of the Promised Land of Parties.

Gentleman that I am, I gave Maya my arm as we walked through the sand. I had to show her a little respect, even if I wasn't going to be respecting _any_ women by the end of the night.

We climbed the stairway, and were shocked by the scene playing out before us.

There must have been about a hundred people crammed into the small space on the pavilion. Music blared, and people danced with abandon. A few guests were drinking straight from bottles of wine as they danced with each other.

I looked at Maya, unsure of it all as we meandered in. "Should we really be a part of this?"

"Of course!"

Speakers interspersed throughout the area blasted a thumping and slightly raunchy mix of music. People danced, bumping into Maya and I with almost every step we took. We made a beeline for the bar.

Naturally, Larry had parked himself at the edge of the bar, with a certain kind of swagger which could only mean that he already had a few drinks in him. One of his elbows was glued to the bar top, his glass in his hand, waiting to be refilled by a bartender. His other arm was wrapped around Niki, who looked stunning in an orange dress.

The couple spotted Maya and I before I could come up with a clever excuse to steer clear of them (or at least of Larry).

"Nick! It's about time you two got out of bed and showed up... where have you been all my life?" Larry yelled over the music, and motioned to nuzzle my shoulder affectionately.

"Oh, God," I murmured just audibly enough for Maya to notice, shifting my shoulder away from him. Maya laughed. Louder, I asked, "Where are all of our friends?"

"Oh, they're all over the place. Edgey's trying to figure out what song he's going to sing... you know how he likes to do karaoke every time he comes to a party. The detective is out getting ladies, like I told him to. And _you're_ here, not dancing or drinking or anything! How could you be late to your best... groom's... _best friend's_ wedding pre-party? Hey, bartender," Larry turned around, pounding both fists into the bar, "Four shots, please!"

"The first shots of many!" Maya commented excitedly, if not somewhat naively.

"Not if I have anything to do with it," I replied. "You can have a _few_... sips."

The bartender presented us with four shots.

"You get two of 'em, Nick, 'cause you have to catch up."

"What about Niki...?"

"Oh, I don't drink," Niki smiled demurely. _Of course she doesn't_.

We toasted, and drank down our shots. I almost choked at how uniquely terrible the unknown alcoholic substance was that Larry had ordered for us. Sickly sweet, and yet, burning with the taste of strong alcohol. Maya quietly swallowed a few times after she had toasted, presumably to ensure that the nasty substance didn't make its way back up her esophagus.

"Larry, what _was_ that?" I demanded. "That's terrible!"

"It's ouzo... it's a Greek liqueur," Niki explained.

"O-Oh! I'm sorry! I hope I haven't insulted you... Larry, do you want this extra shot? I'll just have a beer, if you don't mind." The bartender brought me a beer before I could say a word. "Nice service."

"Let the little lady have it," Larry alliterated sloppily, gesturing in Maya's general direction.

When I gave Maya a wary look, she responded with, "Well, when in Greece!"

With a smile, Maya raised the second shot to her lips, and threw her head back. Her hair fell behind her back as it did earlier, and this time, I noticed the delicate structure of her shoulders, her collarbone. It was distracting.

Shocked that she downed both shots without so much as a wince, I commented, "You're practically a pro, Maya."

"Well," Maya giggled, "I learn quickly."

Larry mentioned blankly, "You should go see what Edgey's up to. I totally spiked his drink. He's kind of getting out of control."

Maya paused. Niki, stirring her presumably-virgin drink in her hand, almost dropped her glass as her smile flinched for a split second.

"You _what_?" My eyes widened.

"Yep."

"Are you insane? Larry. The last time you put something in his drink..."

"Don'tfinishthatsentence!" Larry shouted, practically covering Niki's ears with his own hands. "I know why you're mad. That last time _was _pretty ridiculous... But you gotta see it from my point of view, Nick! I thought it would be a funny joke. I didn't drug him, I just kept adding shots to his wine coolers. Is that _so wrong_?"

Incredulously, I responded, "Oh, okay. Now that I know you didn't _drug_ him, I feel a hell of a lot better about it!"

"Okay, good. But, the thing is, now he's over there where I can't keep him under control and they have karaoke over there and I'm just," my best friend was getting emotional, "I'm... Nick, I'm worried, okay? You know how he gets about karaoke. You _know_, Nick! It's terrible!"

He did have a valid point, though; the last time I saw Edgeworth drunk, he was moved to tears by his own performance of "Copa Cabana".

"...Listen, why don't you and your bride-to-be go dance, and Maya and I will feel out the situation?"

He grunted, "Hah... 'feel out'. You'll be feeling out a couple other things tonight... lady-things!"

Niki's upper lip curled in disgust. Maya turned to me with the same look of horror in her eyes. Larry just stood there, waiting for me to laugh, but I refused to. I could feel my face burning.

Finally, he broke the tension, "Hey, have you seen Iris anywhere?"

"Come on, Maya," I grabbed my beer in one hand, and Maya's hand in the other so as not to lose her in the crowd. I did not even entertain the idea of letting Larry continue that conversation.

Truth be told, I had my eyes peeled for Iris as we sifted through the crowd. She was nowhere to be found, although there were plenty of raven-haired, Greek look-a-likes that made eye contact with me as I passed by. In that, I found some sort of sick comfort and even a confidence boost. Larry's view on women was beginning to rub off on me.

Before I could continue my investigation on Iris's whereabouts, I was pulled away by a man with a bandage on his face. The detective.

"Mr. Wright!" Gumshoe yelled. He grabbed Maya's hand, and dragged us both over to a more secluded area of the party.

It seemed to be where all of the older relatives and less wild party guests were hanging around. The raunchy music from the other side of the pavilion was barely noticeable, and in fact, I heard a version of "Mack the Knife" over the speaker that I had never heard before.

A particularly slurred version of "Mack the Knife", to be clear.

"Hey, pal! Sorry for dragging you across the whole place," Gumshoe apologized, with a drink in hand. "As Mr. Edgeworth's escort for this whole wedding, I figured I needed to keep an eye on him. But I've been talking to Maggey and that was going really well, so I had a few drinks with her... and now I don't really know what to do about this..."

"Where is he, anyway?" I asked, unaware of what Gumshoe was trying to show us.

"Um... Nick? To your left..." Maya burst out laughing before she could spit out anything else.

I looked to my left, and saw a stage... a stage for karaoke singers. Edgeworth swayed back and forth across the stage, with a glass of red wine in one hand and a microphone in the other.

"O-Oh, God," I whispered. This was some party, indeed.

_"Someone's sneeeeakin' around the corner, could that someone... be Mack the Knife! _Could it?_"_

It was unlike any perfomance I'd ever seen. I could help but watch in amazement and horror.

Edgeworth vocally caressed every vowel he sang, closing his eyes and becoming a little more emotionally invested in the song than was necessary. I had never seen him sing with such fervor. That could only mean that Larry's plan had taken effect.

"I mean, there's karaoke, and then there's this," I observed, as Edgeworth incorporated improvised choreography into his act, almost knocking over a speaker with a kick of his leg.

Maya was cracking up. Gumshoe looked a little bit beside himself, worried that he had failed his duty of being a good date for Edgeworth.

"How did this happen?" Gumshoe muttered. "I saw him. He had two wine coolers, and now this glass of wine. That's not enough to get him this drunk, is it, pal?"

I responded, "No, it's not. Weird."

I didn't bother to explain the situation to the detective, and Maya was still laughing. She nudged me to look at Edgeworth. He almost fell over as he belted out his last note with as much passion as he could.

After no one clapped for his performance, he grunted, "_This is what real music sounds like_," and with that, he left the stage with a stagger. Mustering up all of the coherence he could as he stumbled down the stairs, he stated simply, "Wright."

"Edgeworth."

"...Wright."

"That was quite the performance you just gave."

"Yeah! Woo-hoo, Edgey!" Maya chimed in. "That was great! Will you do an encore?"

I gave Maya the universally understood don't-give-him-any-ideas look. Edgeworth caught onto this, and groaned, "Oh, maybe later. I'm... exhausted from that performance. Want the rest of my drink? I suddenly feel... hmm! It's warm in here! Hmm!"

He cleared his throat abruptly, rubbing his hand over his heart. He was either very worked up after a grueling performance or was having a heart attack due to alcohol poisoning.

"Sir, are you alright?" Gumshoe panicked, rushing to him like an obedient dog.

Edgeworth practically threw his glass into Maya's hand, who accepted it gladly. Before I could object about the possibility that Larry could have spiked that drink as well, she had already taken a sip. I sighed, defeated.

"That was... unfortunate. Hey, you should have seen Gumshoe, Wright," Edgeworth slurred pathetically, unaware of how drunk he was. "He was a hit with that terrible police officer."

"Um, Maggey, sir," Gumshoe drooped. "But, yes, Mr. Wright, I did get the chance to talk to her about possibly going on a date tomorrow!"

"Speaking of which, would you mind if I left Maya with you two for a minute? I told someone I'd meet up with them here," I said abruptly, before I could feel bad about ignoring Gumshoe's success.

Maya gave me a puzzled look, swirling the wine around in her glass. Edgeworth gave me a glassy-eyed smile, completely oblivious to his surroundings, and Gumshoe said, "Sure, pal!"

Just as I left the area, I heard a traditional Greek dance song begin. Intrigued, I turned around, and saw Maya eagerly trying to be the first leader of the dance. She had no idea how to Greek dance. I turned back around, half in shame, half enamored with her spirit. If she were anyone but my best friend, I would be embarrassed for her, but I couldn't do anything but let her be who she is: a lively young woman. With, apparently, beautiful shoulders.

Anyway, it was time to find Iris. I grabbed a second beer and began searching.

Through the crowds of aunts, uncles, and cousins, it didn't seem like it would be too difficult to spot the only other person I knew.

As I wandered around aimlessly, I wondered how Maya was doing.

Minutes passed as I looked for my long-lost lover, and I was getting ready to abandon the whole idea and return to the girl who probably needed my help at that very moment.

Just as I was about to give up, I spotted Iris at the edge of the dance floor. She seemed to be giving off more of a judgmental vibe as she watched the dancers. Total opposite of Maya, the girl who was trying to lead a dance she didn't even know how to do.

"Hello, Iris," I sidled up to her, smiling meekly.

"I didn't think I would see you here," Iris admitted over the noise, "On the outskirts of the big crowd, I mean. You have friends here; where are they?"

"W-Well, I told you I would see you tonight, didn't I? And you have tons of relatives here. Aren't you the bride's second cousin?"

"You think that I'm on very good terms with the family after everything my sister's pinned on me?"

"O-Oh. I'm sorry," I muttered. Sensing the frown that seemed to be slowly spreading across Iris's pretty face, I added, "That shouldn't stop you from having a good time, though. Want to dance?"

After a little back-and-forth, she agreed with a smile. I gulped down the last of my beer and tossed the empty bottle aside, completely un-charmingly. As unabashedly terrible as my dance moves are, it would give me a reason to get closer.

The music on the wild side of the pavilion was even raunchier than it was when Maya and I first entered the party, and the party guests on the dance floor were correspondingly a little more lewd than before. I took her by the hand, and we weaved through the bodies on the dance floor until we found a suitable spot.

It started simply, with intense eye contact starting around the second song we danced to. She continued to move closer to me, and my hands found their way down her back...

Many songs (and a trip to the bar) later, Iris had started dancing with her back turned to me, pressing and grinding against me in a way that could barely be considered dancing. I would have been embarrassed, but we were surrounded by people who were drunker than we were, doing even raunchier things.

Well, I was still a little bit embarrassed. I had succumb to the Beast... that is, of degradation and intoxication.

As Iris "danced" with me, her hips swiveling around in her meek-but-undeniably-seductive way, all I could think about was leaving the party to find somewhere a little more private. The Larry in me couldn't be contained.

Seeing as though I couldn't look into Iris's eyes now that she turned around, I actually spotted Larry across the floor. He saw who I was dancing with, and thrust his pelvis forward oh-so-subtly. I hate the guy.

"Do you want to go somewhere to talk?" I leaned into Iris's ear so she could hear me, while discreetly looking at Larry boastfully. He gave me two thumbs-up. She smiled and nodded.

"I was thinking of leaving soon, actually. This isn't really my kind of party."

"Me either," I agreed smoothly.

"Where's Maya, by the way?" Iris asked, snapping me back into reality.

"Oh... you know, the last time I saw her, she was stumbling and trying to lead a Greek dance."

"HEY!" I heard someone yell in my general direction, just as I finished my last sentence. I turned around. It was the Theo George from earlier, and he didn't look too happy.

"U-uh, hello, Theo George," I said over the blaring music, like a schoolboy awaiting his punishment, even though I had no idea what I had done to deserve such a cold stare.

"You should be taking care of the girl," was all he could say. He shook his head, and went back to his drink.

I thought for less than a second about what he meant by that; my questions were cleared up by the sight of Maya Fey dancing on a table.

So much for leading a Greek dance.

She stood high above everyone else, and there was even a little clearing around her, as if people were afraid that she would fall on top of them. Even in my slightly drunken state, I could see that she needed some help. Her arms flailed about wildly above her head, her body gyrating, her voice soaring above the others around her as she sang along to the music: "Now, the party don't start 'til _I walk in_!"

I cringed. Iris looked at me, slightly embarrassed for both her and me, and then even a little bit embarrassed that she was seen with me. I gave her an apologetic look, and headed toward the scene.

"Maya Fey," I said, marching up to her and sounding a lot drunker than I had intended. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Dancing! Join me, Nick," she replied, and bent down to grab my hand. She lost her balance on the unstable tabletop, and went flying forward towards me. People in the crowd screamed and let out audible gasps. I lunged, reaching just far enough to grab her underneath her arms. Silence in the crowd. One person applauded my efforts.

Maya stood, dusted off her bare shoulders, and shouted, "Whoo, that was embarrassing!"

The crowd that had gathered was now starting to dissipate in disgust. Maya didn't seem to care. She grabbed a drink off of another table; I snatched it away and chugged it down before she could get to it. I took her to the side of the dancefloor, where she wouldn't fall on top of anyone else.

To Iris, I mouthed, "Wait for me," and she nodded loyally.

Maya leaned into me, and said over the music, "While you disappeared, Larry ordered another round of shots for us! So, this is... interesting..."

"I can tell," I replied, "But it could be a lot worse. How are you feeling?"

_"I feel beautiful_."

"You are beautiful." It must have been that last drink that brought those words to my lips. "I mean, you know. A beautiful person."

Alcohol turns the worst of us into poets.

"Really, Nick?That's so sweet!"

"Well, I do what I can."

Iris walked up to us. "Phoenix, didn't you say you wanted to talk?"

"Oh, yes. Iris, this is Maya, my assistant," I said, drunkenly gesturing with Maya under my arm, leaning on me to avoid falling over.

"You two are awfully friendly," Iris noticed as Maya nuzzled me. Horrified, I pushed her off of me. Iris gave both of us a confused look.

"Yeah, we're perfect together, aren't we?" Maya continued to ruin my chances with Iris as she cuddled right back into me. "I always tell Nick, 'You should bring that Iris girl around!', but he always complains that he can never get a moment alone 'cause of me."

"I have never once said that, and I have plenty of alone time," I clarified.

"Oh," was all Iris could say.

"Nick, she really is beautiful!" Maya simply could _not_ keep her mouth shut.

Iris mumbled, "I think I'm leaving the party soon, so..."

Suddenly, the prospect of losing my chance with Iris was too real. With Larry-like charm, I apologized, "I-Iris... I'm sorry. Please meet me back at my room so we can finally talk, after I take care of Maya."

"... Which room?"

"U-Uh," I stammered. _What was it again? _"The Seashell Room."

_I think._

I peeled Maya off of my side. Before Iris could say anything, Maya was pulling on my arm, suddenly interested in something on the other side of the raucous crowd.

"Nick! I want to go explore!"

We passed through the dancing and made it to the other side of the party, where Edgeworth had again taken the stage.

"I see Maya Fey and Wright are joining us... Hello, my friends. I dedicate this next one to you," he yelled into the microphone, putting on a show. He was dripping sweat like he'd just given a concert performance. His cravat had come off, and he still had a glass of wine in hand. The overall look was jarring.

The karaoke track to "Strangers in the Night" began.

"This is dedicated to Wright and Maya," Edgeworth announced redundantly before he sang. "Wright and Maya, I wish you nothing but the best."

_"Strangers in the night... What were the chances we'd be sharing love before the night was through?"_

"Dance with her!" One of the party guests shouted above the music. Maya was in no mood to ignore the requests of her fellow drunk partygoers, even though I had an appointment with Iris I was not about to miss.

Larry and Niki conveniently walked in at the perfect time. Edgeworth saw them, and stopped singing mid-line to encourage everyone to dance, as well. "To the groom: a dear, dear friend! To love! To finding love!"

Meanwhile, Maya threw one of her arms around my shoulder, and took my other hand in hers. She was leading me into some sort of drunken waltz. I snatched my hand away, switching our positions so that her hand was in mine (not the other way around).

"Come on, Nick, one dance," she pleaded insistingly. I looked around, and saw that other couples had joined us, so I began swaying.

I knew I was feeling a little drunk at that point. Maya's bare shoulder continued to grab my attention. The way her skin subtly shimmered... Was she wearing some sort of sparkling makeup? I'd never noticed the all-around glow she had. Her cheeks, her eyes, her shoulders...

As I pushed away these thoughts, Edgeworth crooned dramatically, "Little did we know... Love was just a glance away, a warm, embracing _dance awayyyy_..."

Maya seemed to be touching me differently. More sensuously. _Or just more drunkenly?_

Or maybe I was the drunk one and didn't fully realize it.

The song ended, everyone applauded Edgeworth's valiant effort, and Maya looked like she was ready to jump on a table and start dancing again as the raunchy rap started up again. It was time to leave.

"Maya!" I called out, reaching for her as she ran off. "We have to get going!"

"What? I am _not_ leaving this party," Maya suddenly gave me a sassy smile.

"U-Uhm... no. We _are_ going." The fate of my romance depended on that fact.

"No! You can't make me!"

We were leaving the party whether she wanted to or not; I had a date I was not about to miss. As Larry saw me practically carry Maya out, he first did a double-take, wondering why Maya had taken Iris's place. Then he shrugged, winked, pelvic-thrusted into the air again.

Struggling, Maya whined, "Come on, Nick! I was having so much fun! Didn't you see me dancing earlier? I'm the life of the party! You should lighten up! I don't want to be anywhere but..."

As soon as we stepped out from under the covered party area, the atmosphere changed dramatically. Things seemed cleaner, even.

The sea and the never-ending shoreline sprawled before us.

"...Here," Maya finished her sentence, and it seemed fitting.

"Me either," I sighed, relieved that Maya was suddenly docile.

To the left were rolling hills dotted with houses, and the warm glow of their lights. In front of us was a sprawling stone staircase that led to what we saw to the right... the beach and the ocean.

It was beautiful. Maya was leading the way down the stairs, and _she_ was beautiful, lit by the almost-full moon. The breeze threw her hair to one side of her head, revealing (yet again) that bare shoulder, and a fair amount of back...

"This is really nice, isn't it?" Maya commented loudly, stretching her arms out euphorically. She inhaled the ocean air, and exhaled with a grin.

"It really is," I said a little quieter, hoping she would try to match my volume level. I inhaled and exhaled joyously, but in a more reserved manner than she had.

"And our _room_! The Seaside Room! They name their rooms! I love it here!"

"You mean the Seashell Room."

"No, It was definitely Seaside Room."

"... A-Are you serious?" A pang of panic.

"Yes, Nick! I was singing 'Seaside Rendezvous' all day after I saw our room name, so I know I'm right!" she stated emphatically... and with a slight slur.

_That means... Iris is waiting in front of some random person's bedroom._

"Damn it."

"What?"

For a moment, I panicked with embarrassment, dreading what would happen when I saw Iris the next morning after leading her to the wrong room.

... The moment quickly passed, as I was fairly tipsy by that point, and didn't have much of an attention span. Plus, if I explained the situation to Maya, who knew what would happen? I finally answered, "Nothing."

Mostly, my attention stayed in Maya's general direction. She danced around the beach like a Greek goddess. Finally, she stood by the water... and she had a slightly sinister smile on her face as she turned back to me.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked.

I wandered over to her, "I don't know, what are you thinking?"

"I say we have a little seaside rendezvous right now!" With that, she kicked off her sandals and took a step into the water, letting the waves come up to her ankles. "Come on, Nick! This is an adventure of a lifetime!"

I couldn't say no to _that_. I kicked off my shoes and stood next to her. She continued to quietly sing 'adventure of a lifetime' to herself, in the way only a drunk person can. It was endearing.

She waded in a little further, up to her knees, below the hemline of her dress. I could only go in as far as my khaki shorts would allow. She danced around a little, water splashing her as she went. I went back onto dry land, trying to avoid getting wet.

"I could... spin... all day!" Maya sang loudly. "Nick! Come on!"

"No, I would look ridiculous if I tried to do that..."

"You're really going to let this beautiful moment go-AAHHHHH!"

Maya lost her balance, took one more spin in my direction, and fell. She crashed into me and we tumbled into the sand. Falling flat on my ass, the tide lapped at my feet, and Maya giggled in my ear.

"Sorry," she said, cracking up. She didn't move from where she was: practically on top of me. "That was crazy! Adventure of a lifetime!"

By that point, I was cracking up as well. Everything I had drank up until that point had finally caught up to me.

Maya rolled over, sitting next to me. She let the water rise and fall at her feet for a moment as I sat up. I looked at her. "You know what was crazy?"

As if it were the most exciting secret of all time, Maya exclaimed, "What?"

"You dancing on a table."

"You loved it."

"_Only_ because I'm required to."

"Hey!" Maya yelled playfully, "Who ever said you were forced to love everything I do?"

I said slowly, trying to make as much sense as I could, "Okay, so I'm _not_ required to by law. But you're my best friend. I have to accept you for what you are."

"And what am I, Niiiick?"

"Let's see," I looked at her, and she looked at me. "You are crazy, unpredictable... u-uh, cute, adorable, even... loud, slightly embarrassing..."

"Nick! You can't just compliment me and then make me feel terrible again. I was going to say that you are _wickedly_ handsome and _very intelligent_."

"You can still say that."

"No! Now I'm not going to."

"Well, I wasn't done. I was going to say that you have very good shoulders."

Actually, I was never planning on saying that, but it happened before I could bite my tongue.

"Actually," I elaborated, "They're what men like to call 'sexy'. Very... defined. And they're glowing. How the hell do you get them to glow?"

Maya couldn't stop laughing at this statement. I wasn't sure what was so funny.

"Nick," she cooed, suddenly crawling into a kneeling position in front of me, "That's very sweet of you. Now, this is a serious subject I want to talk about now. Change of subject. So pay attention!"

"Okay," my face became stone-cold, but couldn't hold back a smile, as faces often can't when trying to talk about serious subjects while intoxicated.

"I might be drunk, and it's a very strange feeling, but I have to say one thing. Promise me," Maya threw her hand on my heart, letting her train of thought linger for a little bit before she finished, "Promise me that we'll always have each other."

I thought that was a particularly profound statement. I wasn't sure how to react.

"... I promise. Of course!"

The giggles returned, thankfully. "Okay, good!"

Her hand's position over my heart caused Maya to be incredibly close to me. Kneeling in front of me as if she were going to lay on top of me. She didn't move, she just let the sounds of the sea engulf us, and let the water reach us and retreat again and again.

I caught a whiff of the perfume at her neck. It was pure, but musky, and frankly all too sexy for my best female friend to be wearing.

"Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?" I asked nonchalantly (i.e. drunkly).

"No...!"

"You do. Damn it, Maya, I should be telling you that more often, shouldn't I?... oh, _damn it_!"

"What?"

I saw a gigantic wave heading towards the shore. My eyes widened, and Maya turned around just in time...

"Look out!"

The wave crashed, sending a colossal wall of water over us. Maya and I were _drenched_ up to our chests in saltwater. I fell flat on my back, and Maya laid on top of me, clinging to my chest for dear life.

Her dress, now completely wet, clung to my shirt. She looked up at me, glued to my chest, and I just smiled. We began laughing.

That's something that Iris and I would _not_ have done.

"We made it," I observed blankly. "We're a little bit damp, but we're alive."

"That was so refreshing!"

"You're something else, you know that, Maya?" I said, out of nowhere. We were both still laughing, getting sand stuck to our wet clothes, in our hair... and our laughter died down after a minute.

Maya looked at me as if she were about to tell me a big secret, her eyebrows curling upwards vulnerably.

Then, she kissed me.

The world around me was spinning, and not just in the universal sense. I wasn't really aware of what was going on. My heart stopped as I pulled away after only a second. Maya's eyes were wide open.

We stared, wide-eyed, at each other for a few moments.

In the moonlight, she was radiant.

"I-I'm... sorry!" she exclaimed, her cheeks turning an adorable red. She got up from on top of me, scuttling away from the water.

I got up, making my way towards where she sat in the sand.

"Waiiiit, Maya!" I called out. She turned around, and we grinned at each other.

Drunkenly, I half-whispered, "Why did you pull away?"

"I don't know."

I kneeled down in front of her, taking her face in my hands. "Me either."

Under the Grecian sky, next to the sea shore, behind the scenes at Larry's wild party, Maya and I kissed. Our lips parted and reconnected until our clothes were covered in sand and our breath wore out.

All of my typical reservedness aside, at that moment, I knew that I couldn't keep my lips off of hers if I tried. In fact, running my hands through Maya's hair and down her back, smelling that all-too-sexy perfume at such a close range, I couldn't think of being anywhere else.


	4. After The Love Games Have Been Played

After I write a chapter that I'm happy with, I always find it incredibly difficult to pick up things to write the next installment. This chapter was literally the hangover to my drunken glee that was writing that party chapter.

Also, I haven't had a life for 3 months because of my fully loaded schedule, so I'm sorry about the even further delay.

I haven't given up on this story... the party's just begun! Stick around for more drunkenness, romance, and lessons on life...

* * *

><p>I finally awoke when the sun coming through the window became too much to bear for my sensitive headache. My eyelids lifted slowly, heavily, and after my vision cleared I scanned the bedroom.<p>

I hoped that my surroundings would give me a few clues as to how things played out. It should go without saying that trying to recall the last hour or so of the party was a little bit of a struggle. Not that I blacked out, necessarily, but I had an idea of what happened in my mind and I _desperately_ wanted to prove my theory wrong.

I had this crazy, vivid memory of something happening between Maya and I. Something like a gratuitously long session of making out. Saying that I wished that memory was just part of a dream would be a gross understatement.

The first thing I noticed, looking around, was that I wasn't wearing a shirt.

_That's normal, though, for sleeping... right?_

My shorts, soaking wet for some reason, were crumpled next to the bed on the floor.

_Not normal._

I shifted in bed a little, and noticed the sand rubbing off of my legs every time I moved an inch.

The moment of truth would be when I gathered the courage to look to my left to see who was sleeping next to me. It had to be one of two people: Iris, or Maya.

I prayed to God that Maya would be sleeping next to me fully-clothed, not covered in sand. I didn't even want to consider the idea that it was Iris next to me. That would mean that Maya had to find some random couch (or worse, someone else's bed) to occupy all night, and I'd feel equally terrible about that. Possibly worse than if something had happened between _us_.

I gulped, and looked to my left.

It was Maya, sleeping soundly.

It wasn't a dream.

Her hair was damp, and though she had the sheets wrapped around her shoulders, I could tell that she was only wearing a bra. Well, at least she was wearing that much... although I didn't want to find out what sort of bottoms she was wearing just yet.

So, I could no longer pretend it was just a dream: I had dragged Maya out of the party and taken her to the beach. We fell into the water, and somehow ended up kissing.

It gets a little foggy around the point when we _stopped_ kissing. Or maybe we never stopped, and just kissed all the way back to our room? No, that would be ridiculous.

I do remember the stripping, though. That mental picture became completely vivid as soon as the sight of Maya in bed next to me jogged my memory.

...

I was falling (quite literally) into bed, when Maya shouted, "You can't just sleep in your wet clothes, Nick!"

"Shh! You'll wake up the whole family!"

"They're still at the party that you _dragged me away from!_"

"_S-Sorry_!"

"It's _fine_!"

"W-Well, we're not sleeping in a bed together naked... and I'm too drunk to find _pajamas_."

Maya had already started taking off her clothes. Well, her one article of clothing: that dress. It was so soaking wet that it was less of a "dress" and more of a clinging piece of fabric that revealed every curve of her body in graphic detail. She couldn't get the dress to come off, it was clinging to her legs so desperately.

Realizing that I shouldn't be looking at her as she undressed, I turned around and shoved my shorts down my legs, leaving them a crumpled pile on the floor. As for my shirt, I threw it off as I fell into bed face down.

I closed my eyes before I could see Maya, but I heard her plop down next to me. The sheets rumpled as she crawled under them.

She didn't talk for a bit. I thought she might've passed out.

"This night was fun, wasn't it, Nick?" Maya broke the silence wistfully.

"Yes... Yes, it was."

"Kind of weird, though?"

"How so?"

"Us..." I could tell she was starting to drift off.

"I don't know, Maya. People always think there's something going on with us. Is it _really_ that weird?" Well, _that_ was direct. Drinking tends to make me bravely honest.

"Maybe not. Who knows?" She let out a muffled, exhausted giggle.

Gaining more liquid courage, I said, "I mean... I don't know how weird it _really_ is. Was it inevitable, do you think? Eventually, we had to have known that this would happen... right?"

No response.

"I don't regret it. What do you think?"

Maya was already starting to breathe heavily... she was sleeping.

...

What I had done was pretty reckless. I doubted that Maya had ever even kissed a guy before, and there I was, ruining that monumental moment with an alcoholic lapse of judgement. I hoped that Maya had kissed someone before me, to lessen my guilt.

I looked over to my best friend again. I hoped she would forgive me for being so thoughtless.

What was it I said the night before? _Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight_? Something along those lines... and, unfortunately, it was still true. Yes, she was disheveled from the night's events, but her skin almost glowed in the sunlight seeping in through the window.

She was practically smiling in her sleep. I smiled, too, until I self-consciously realized that I shouldn't be staring, in case she woke up. I realized just how early in the morning it was as I saw the sun's position on the horizon; it had barely come up.

I closed my eyes again and feigned sleep for a bit, hoping that Maya wasn't conscious for any of my creepy staring.

...

"Nick?"

I awoke for the second time that morning, my eyelids feeling even heavier than they originally had.

"Wake up, sleepyhead!"

Maya spoke in a whisper inches away from my face.

"I'm awake."

"No, you're just _conscious_. There's a difference."

"I'm _existing_."

"Yes! At the most basic level."

"How are you so awake right now?" I rolled over onto my side, now even closer to her. She broke her intense gaze, noticing that I was, indeed, shirtless. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I asked, "I mean, how are you feeling?"

No talk about the nakedness... yet. Maybe she put on a shirt while I fell back asleep? I couldn't tell; she was under the sheets.

"You know... I feel a little less like death than I had expected!" She laughed, and it was infectious. "I do have a headache, though."

"If that's all you have, you're lucky."

"What about you?"

"Same thing."

Almost simultaneously, we sighed. As Maya sighed, she fell onto her back, revealing the straps of her bra on her shoulders. Indeed, she was also still shirtless. I looked away.

"Well," I said, hoping that once I spoke, a sentence would form... but I suddenly lost the ability to start a conversation.

"Nick, are you wearing pants?" Maya finally asked, barely stifling a giggle.

I pretended to look under the sheets for the first time, and saw my boxer-briefs. "Sort of."

"Well, that's better than 'no'!"

"Sort of. I-I mean, I guess so," I stammered. "I'll put something on in a minute...Think you'll be dancing on tables again any time soon?"

"Hah! Was that too much?"

"Depends on which crowd you want to fit in with. The younger cousins loved you. Theo George was a little disappointed that I wasn't watching over you more carefully."

"Ooh. Sorry about that."

"It's okay... He just hasn't gotten to know the real, innocent you yet."

"Hey," Maya protested, "I wasn't that bad!"

I couldn't stop myself from grinning; "_Okay_, Maya."

"I wasn't!"

All I could do was laugh, trying to keep up the small talk and banter so that we wouldn't have to discuss what _actually_ happened. "You tried to lead a Greek dance."

"Okay. But Edgeworth sang an entire Greatest Hits collection of standards!"

"True. I wonder if he's okay?" I shuddered to think how his night ended.

"Yeah..." Maya drifted off. I could tell she wanted to say something more specific, but she simply sighed, "Last night was a lot of fun."

"Couldn't agree more."

"And it ended on a great note!"

I twitched, and turned to face Maya directly, waiting for her to clarify what she meant by that.

"You think so?"

"... Yes? Why, am I forgetting something?"

When she said nothing after a while, I had to ask, "You remember what happened on the beach... Right?"

And suddenly, Maya recognized what _I_ was referring to, and her eyes widened. She made eye contact with me for a split second, broke it, and took a deep breath. "Yes, I remember..."

I could tell she was embarrassed, or at least a little self-conscious about it. To stall before she actually had to say anything, she reached over to get something on the ground... her pajama shirt (which is actually just one of my old shirts that she somehow found and stole). She put it on, hurriedly.

"Maya?" I scooted a little closer to her, sitting up so that I would be on eye level with her. She glanced down at my bare chest and instantly seemed even more horrified.

"Nick?"

"Y-Yes?"

"I just... uh." She struggled to find words. "Well, this is awkward!"

"I feel like since we both feel awkward, that negates any awkwardness."

"Okay," she smiled, "then let's just go back to being not-awkward. Remember when Edgeworth dedicated a song to us?"

"Wait," I smiled back, "If you're embarrassed, then I just want to say... I'm sorry."

"...Why are you sorry?"

"I don't know, I just... I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable about anything."

"Don't worry, Nick, that's not possible!"

"Well, I just don't want any sort of barrier between us, you know?"

"Is there a barrier?" Maya laughed. "We slept in the same bed without any clothes on!"

"You know what I mean."

"...People kiss their best friends all the time, right?" Maya asked candidly.

"Sure."

"And now that we have that out of the way, we can go back to being our normal selves?"

"Sure."

"It was a heat-of-the-moment type thing. I don't blame anybody, it just sort of happened. Who knows how I'd even feel if I were to kiss you now? Maybe it wouldn't be so fun."

"Who knows?" I sighed. A tiny part of me was disappointed that she had suddenly become so nonchalant about the whole situation.

"...Wanna find out?" Maya asked devilishly, out of absolutely nowhere.

"U-Uh..."

Finally, Maya burst out laughing, "I'm kidding! Don't look so disgusted by the idea, Nick!"

"N-Not disgusted at all," I admitted, "I actually just got a little nervous that I might not meet your expectations."

She stopped laughing, but gave me a shy grin back.

"You're ridiculous," I said, smiling widely. She fell onto her back, giggling.

There are times when I find Maya beautiful. When I can see beyond her spastic tendencies and Ivy University shirt-stealing. That morning, I saw a girl that I had kissed passionately on a beach in Greece. A sensitive, good-humored girl that I found genuinely attractive.

When she smiled back at me, with a hint of bashfulness and femininity that she normally would never show, I softened a little.

I imagined what Larry would say if I told him that. The smile on my face must have disappeared at the thought, because Maya looked away, ending the moment.

I turned to see what she was staring at.

Larry was standing in the doorway, creepily watching us talking.

"Continue!" Larry coaxed us, in a hoarse, hungover-morning kind of voice. He moseyed into the room and shut the door behind himself. "I just thought I'd stop by. Don't let me interrupt anything."

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked as my headache suddenly seemed a little bit worse.

"Just wanted to see if you guys were alive," he groaned back. "Good show last night."

"What are you referring to, exactly?"

"Can we just talk about you and Iris for a second, Nick? I mean, wow."

Maya's eyes shot open, looking to me for some sort of explanation. "Iris is here?"

"Didn't you talk to her...?" Larry cut in.

"Y-Yes, Maya, she's here," I said quickly, hoping to never speak of the matter in Maya's presence again. To Larry, with pleading eyes, I offered, "So Edgeworth really had a good time, huh? Have you checked up on him?"

"I mean, there's dancing, and then there's... well, I won't talk about it in front of the lady," Larry smiled, shaking his head as if he was lost in the memory of Iris's hips. "But it's nice. To think about."

"L-Larry!" I said, half humiliated, half furious.

"Wait, Nick," a tiny frown was spreading across Maya's face now, "What's he talking about?"

"Yeah, Larry, what the _hell_ are you talking about?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"Come on, Nick! I thought I would come into your room and see an entirely different scene, actually! One with different players, if you know what I mean. Now that you mention it... let's see what we have here. Any incriminating evidence?"

He scanned around a little, and finally, Larry understood. He spotted Maya's dress on the floor, pointed to it, then pointed to my bare chest.

"Oh," he said, giving me a knowing smile. "I see."

"Maya, will you be okay if I go get some fresh air?" I blurted, jumping out of bed. On cue, the sheet fell away from me, revealing my bare legs. Larry's jaw dropped. Maya's face was beet red. I timidly put my pajama pants on and muttered, "Y-Yep. Okay. I'll be back in a bit."

I raced out of the room, yanking Larry by the arm on my way out and slamming the door.

Immediately, we both started arguing at the same time.

"What the hell are you thinking!"

"You and Maya!"

"Are you trying to ruin my friendship?"

"You and MAYA!... Wait, are you serious? And you told me you were _just friends_!"

"We are!"

"Waking up next to a naked girl is _not_ friendship, Nick!"

"W-Well, I mean, we kissed last night, but it was nothing!"

"... You _WHAT_?"

"Y-Yes," I said after a moment, quietly so as not to wake anyone up (and so that Maya couldn't hear us from the other side of the door), "On the beach. It happened when I dragged her out of the party to get some fresh air."

"... Wow."

"Yep."

"_Niiiiiiiiiiick_, what were you _thinking_?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I have Iris all ready and waiting to see you, because you told her to go to the _wrong room _last night! What happened to our plan? Making lady-friends?"

"... Damn it, Larry..."

"She was standing in front of _my_ room. Do you know how awkward it was when I had to push her aside while trying to sneak Niki back into my room for the night?"

"You have to sneak your own fiancee into your room? This place is like a friggin' summer camp. Everybody sneaking off from the planned enrichment activities to hook up..."

"So you ditched Iris for Maya, huh?"

"It's... It's not like _that_. It just sort of happened."

Larry grinned sinisterly, "That sort of thing never 'just sort of happens'."

"Well, it did. And it _was_ fine, but now you've probably gotten Maya upset..."

"Sorry, man!"

"I'm gonna go apologize, if you don't mind, after I get some coffee..."

"Wait! Just apologize to Iris first, if _you_ don't mind! And I deserve an apology toooooo! You wasted all of the effort I made to make sure you would get action this week! You wasted it on your _assistant_!"

"Larry, shut up."

I shuffled away, too conflicted to bother raising my voice. What I needed more than anything was some coffee and a little fresh air.

...

On the back patio, I didn't think there was any chance of anyone bothering me. Most of the family had gathered in the kitchen, discussing the events of the previous night in gross (and thickly-accented) detail. I shuffled meekly through the people around the coffeemaker, grabbed a cup, and headed outside.

The fact that I felt the need to be alone was worrisome enough. Had I not done anything wrong, I would be in the kitchen with Larry, excitedly recounting the evening. Instead, I was brooding behind a steaming cup of coffee (feeling much like a certain masked prosecutor I knew once). Not even the view of the water could lift my spirits. My heart was feeling heavy, and it was a strange, unwelcome feeling.

Poor Maya. How embarrassing. And to think that it was _my_ fault.

I never thought that I would actually follow Larry's advice and fool around with some girl in Greece. Of all people, did it _have_ to be Maya? The girl who made a fool of herself dancing on tables?

... I mean, the girl who I considered my platonic best friend?

Not only that, but I became the type of person that I hate: the Guy On The Dancefloor With His Girl. I'm sure Iris was pretty mortified, as well. I shuddered to even think about the fact that she was waiting in front of Larry's bedroom door for God knows how long.

My actions were unjustifiable. I had to go apologize to both girls immediately.

But first, this quiet cup of coffee.

"Mind if I join you?" I heard a timid voice sneak up behind me.

I jumped, practically spilling my entire mug's contents into my lap, and turned around. It was Iris. "Oh... um..."

"I just wanted to apologize," she said before letting me finish my stuttering. She sat down and looked demurely into her lap.

"_You_ want to apologize?"

"Y-Yes?" She said this as a question, as if she thought all of a sudden that maybe she should just walk away after slapping me firmly across the face. I didn't blame her.

"I mean... _I_ wanted to apologize."

She pushed her hair timidly behind her ear, "It was so unlike me to act the way I did. You probably have the wrong impression..."

"Oh, I wanted to say the same thing."

"Really? I just felt so stupid after last night..."

"Oh, you were fine! I was the embarrassing one... I'm _so _sorry about sending you to... uh, to Larry's room."

Iris's eye twitched, presumably as she remembered the horrifying moment when Larry and Niki stumbled into what was supposed to be _my_ room. "It's okay. It wasn't really that big of a deal..."

"I-I feel terrible about it, either way."

"We should just... start fresh. Forget what happened. We weren't ourselves, right?"

_That's not the first time I've heard that this morning_...

"Right..."

"So, on that note, I guess I'll go get some breakfast... do you want anything... Phoenix?" She was desperately trying to pretend like the conversation had not just happened. I felt awkward.

"No thank you," I said politely, my gaze returning to the coffee cup as she stood up.

"Okay," she said, still hesitantly. I almost looked back up to see what she was waiting around for, because I could feel her shadow behind me. Finally, she spoke up, "There was something else I wanted to give you."

"...Give me?"

"Yes. This."

When I looked up, Iris was directly in front of me. She bent down to my eye level, and I knew exactly what was coming.

She kissed me. It wasn't just a peck, either; she had clearly deliberated over the length of this kiss and had settled on a modest, yet clearly-romantic kiss that lasted for a few seconds.

I was shocked. So shocked that I got up out of my chair a little. I wasn't sure if that was instinctively to get closer to her or to push her away...

Once she noticed this, she kissed me again, lightly, then simply got up and walked away with a shy smile on her face.

"Um... Iris?" I called out as she made her way to the door to go back inside. Her only response was a quick glance back at me and a bashful grin.

I watched her leave. She passed by some shadowy figure as she slid through the doorway.

_Who is that, anyway?_

I squinted, and saw Larry, watching through the glass door.

"_Dammit!_" I threw my coffee aside and stormed over.

I whipped open the door, and stood there for a moment. Larry's face remained the same: his jaw was almost to the floor.

"Are you done here?" I muttered. "_Seriously_, Larry?"

"Well, well, well," Larry said quietly, so as not to stir any of the family in the next room and disturb their conversation. "Mr. Phoenix Wright, getting more action than anyone on this island!"

"Can you _shut up_?"

"... Whoa. What's your problem? Nick, I was kidding!"

I pushed Larry away, trudging past him. "This is all your fault..."

"Niiiiiick! Don't just walk away, talk to me! What did I do?"

I turned around. "Just let me handle my own business, okay?"

"What business is there to handle? You kissed a couple girls."

"It's... more complicated than that."

Larry almost dropped his coffee mug. "_Is it, now?_"

"Y-Yes, it is. And why is that such a big deal?"

"That means you have feelings, Nick!"

"Of course I do! I kissed my best friend _and_ my ex-girlfriend in a period of less than twenty-four hours! I feel bad about it! Any normal person would!"

"Any normal person would realize that hookups happen... and they mean nothing unless you actually care about the person. Not just as a friend."

"Oh, right. Like you know everything about this..."

"...You like Maya, don't you?"

"W-What?"

"You don't regret what happened, do you?... You just regret that you're also involved with Iris now, and seemingly have no way out!"

"That is _completely untrue_..."

"Oh, don't even _try_ to deny it! That's why you practically got up out of your chair to avoid kissing Iris back!"

_So that's what that was all about._ Silence for a moment as I thought about that.

"I'm right, aren't I?" A stupidly cocky grin splayed across Larry's face.

"I-I don't know, Larry."

"Well, _I_ do. It's totally fine. It's great! You just have to switch your focus to the little lady waiting in your bedroom and avoid Miss Spontaneous at all costs."

"That's going to be impossible."

"Is it...? It could be very easy if you really care to follow through with it."

I could not believe I was actually entertaining some idea that Larry had. Again.

"Whatever," I whimpered, completely defeated.

"Hey, wait a minute! Don't be sad, Nick! We have a full day of festivities planned! And you know what tonight is?"

"Another party, I know, but I can't handle it..."

"Well, get ready to handle it, because it's my _bachelor party_! Can you even imagine what it's going to be like? Ladies. Everywhere."

"No."

"Niiiiick! You're no fun!"

"I'm actually a lot of fun. Sensible fun."

"You'll see, Nick. Give it a couple drinks and you'll be feeling pretty lucky you're my best man. I think there's some rule about buying the best man a dance- or did I just make that up? I don't know..."

"Wait... you're taking us to a club?"

"Uh, duh! It's what all men do!"

"That's disgusting."

"Yeah, yeah, Nick. You'll thank me later. The girls we're going to see don't _kiss_, so you have nothing to worry about."

Larry cracked himself up with that one. He winked and held up his coffee mug to toast with me.

"I don't have a mug. I threw it when I saw you _lurking_," I said, deadpan.

"Oh. Well, have some of this," Larry offered, handing over his coffee. "Let's enjoy the sunlight, shall we?"

I took a sip as we walked back outside. There was clearly some alcoholic substance mixed in with this morning brew.

Larry saw the look of disgust I must have given as I wiped my mouth. He winked again and put his arm around me as we strolled on; "When in Greece, Nick. When in Greece."


End file.
